What Do You Think About Before Going To Sleep At Night?

I was scrolling down my tumblr dashboard when I came across this question. And it made me really think about what goes through my mind before I fall asleep.

Firstly, you guys should know I don’t fall asleep easily and before I started seeing a therapist I had regular nightmares.¬†Before I went to bed each night it became a habit for me to think about what I want to dream about, I also do that when I wake up from a nightmare.

I realized that before I go to sleep at night I think about things that are my ‘fairytale’ probably will only happen if I have a fairy godmother hanging around somewhere. I think about being happy before going to sleep. Happiness is a feeling I don’t think people give enough credit to because if someone is happy then they’re set for life. I truly believe happiness is key to everyone’s problems.

My happiness would include my brother doing well in school. My dad’s business finally working for him instead of sucking away his happiness. My bio dad calling me more. My mom finding someone to spend the rest of her life with, where she wouldn’t have to struggle and stress financially me. And me, my happiness would also be if I could just love myself.

When will my Prince come?

Never.

Happily ever after is a wonderful and beautiful thing that I love to read about, but I won’t kid myself and actually believe in it.

I’m not saying that I don’t want and hope that I have a Prince Charming out there but I’m not holding my breath because I can only hold my breath for 40 seconds tops. Most females don’t know what they truly want in their significant other and if they do he’s not everything on that list, I promise.

I really hope that one day I will meet my Prince Charming or someone that is good for me, but I don’t have a list. I have standards. I also won’t spend all my time searching for him because I’m impatient and don’t look for things properly. Also I just don’t believe in happily ever after. I could meet Prince Charming, like a charming ax murderer or something equally stupid and that never goes anywhere.

I just really wish that people wouldn’t spend all their time thinking about happily ever after because none of us have forever.¬†