What Do You Think About Before Going To Sleep At Night?

I was scrolling down my tumblr dashboard when I came across this question. And it made me really think about what goes through my mind before I fall asleep.

Firstly, you guys should know I don’t fall asleep easily and before I started seeing a therapist I had regular nightmares. Before I went to bed each night it became a habit for me to think about what I want to dream about, I also do that when I wake up from a nightmare.

I realized that before I go to sleep at night I think about things that are my ‘fairytale’ probably will only happen if I have a fairy godmother hanging around somewhere. I think about being happy before going to sleep. Happiness is a feeling I don’t think people give enough credit to because if someone is happy then they’re set for life. I truly believe happiness is key to everyone’s problems.

My happiness would include my brother doing well in school. My dad’s business finally working for him instead of sucking away his happiness. My bio dad calling me more. My mom finding someone to spend the rest of her life with, where she wouldn’t have to struggle and stress financially me. And me, my happiness would also be if I could just love myself.

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Life. Where’s my lemons?

What is life? We all seem to have our own definitions of it, this four letter word but do we really know? According to Google, that know it all guide that sometimes doesn’t have the answers, life is living things and their activity. 

I don’t know about everyone else but I’m in such a state of confusion that that little definition isn’t giving me what I really want. The problem is that life is a challenge to define even by philosophers and scientists. I don’t think people can define life because it is different for everyone. There can’t be a set definition.

Since I think that, what does life mean to me? Life is waking up in the morning and breathing; seeing, hearing and thinking things; smiling, laughing and crying; being around people who love and hate me; believing in something; doing any and everything; wishing and hoping. Take a moment out of your life and ask yourself, what does life mean to you. I could go on and on about what it means to me and that’s the thing about life. The word life encompasses so many things to so many different and unique people. Life is filled with labels and therefor it can’t be labeled.

Life just is.

In life there will be complications and problems but also moments you wish you could relive and that you cherish. We have to realize that we only have this one life and at times it will feel like you just happened to get that defect life. Remember we can’t sit around waiting for lemons to be thrown at us because chances are that will never happen. In the end we all just need to try our best and never stop restarting.