High School

How I wonder

If he thinks about me

Girl, he’s always on my mind

He doesn’t act like he likes me. 

 

Sometimes I think I’m not good enough for him

Can’t help but want him to notice me

Help me figure out what to do

Or maybe I should give him time

Or maybe I should forget about him

Love sucks.

 

This was written by me today. Feeling about down about the guy I’ve been crushing on. It sucks when you can’t stop thinking about someone who doesn’t think about you.

 

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Why I (Probably) Won’t Be Doing The Deed in High School

The Deed. It. Yes it’s capitalized. No, I’m not prude and I feel perfectly fine saying the 3-letter word aloud but I feel that for the purpose of this post said word is unnecessary.   

I recently ready Judy Blume book, Forever…, and my wonderful ears also tuned into some unwanted information from a conversation two boys were having in the back of the math classroom. 

[BOOK SPOILERS]

Firstly I’ll talk about the book. Forever… was written in 1975 and so it’s what I’d call an old time book. Words like laid are used, as in “I laid twice before.” It’s not exactly the way we would use laid now. Anyhow, I’ve tried to read many old books but this is probably one of the only ones I’ve finished and enjoyed. The girl and boy fell in love and eventually had sex as seniors in high school and they believe they’re going to be together forever, hence the title. As the statistic goes with most high school relationships it doesn’t last. Whiles they were together she fell for someone else over their summer apart and he decided to tell her that he slept with everyone where ever he was in America. 

That turned me off. I highly doubt that he actually slept with anyone else and I know she didn’t. (Yes, I take book relationships seriously.) People that you love can hurt you so easily  and as a teenager, we can be very irrational. The book made me think about the fact that I could do the deed with someone and within moments the relationship could be over. The girl in the book never thought things would end and gladly gave her body over. After reading the book I felt like I would be taking less of a risk if I stayed away from doing anything with the boys whilst I’m in high school.

Moving on, what I heard in my math class….

“Dude, at the music festival me and Jen are gonna do it.”

“Really?”

“Ya man, it’s gonna be my first time. I’m a bit nervous.”

“You want me to give you some pointers.”

“Ya dog, that’d be awesome.”

“Ok, so it’s nasty. The girl…..”

I tuned out after that. I didn’t want my fragile and innocent ears to hear anymore crap. My second reason why I won’t be giving it up in high school is that boys are braggers and have little manners. Seriously if I was that girl and I heard that my boyfriend was telling his friends about what will be our “special” moment at a concert, I’d break up with him right there and then. Boys don’t have great understanding up what’s private and what’s best left untold. 

Everyone in high school talks and I don’t want my first or fifth time to be publicized throughout the school so my peers and teachers can know all my business. I’ve heard plenty of stories about other teenager’s sexcapades and I don’t want to be another one. 

P.S. ~ I also don’t think being in love is a reason to have sex.

Hurtful

They’re just names,

Simple words,

But they’re sharp,

Razor sharp.

You say them to me,

Behind my back,

In loud whispers,

And you laugh.

It hurts,

Those words,

They hurt.

I hold it in,

And walk away,

I know I shouldn’t,

But I can’t help myself.

I walk inside,

And lock the door,

I’m not alone in here,

But I don’t care anymore.

I cry,

Until the tears,

Don’t come anymore.

I unlock the door,

Splash my face,

And walk out with a smile.

All those feelings,

Hidden away,

To seep through another day.

By Samora Lewis.