17 April 2013

Hey Guys,

You’re probably wondering why I haven’t been posting and that’s because I’m just not sure what I want to right about. I’ll start lots post and they’re all in my drafts unfinished. That’s a problem I’m trying to figure out – the fact that I’m having trouble finishing anything.

I think I need to figure out how to plan things out and stick to said plans. I need to figure out how to sort things out so that I spend my time on the right things. But my healthy lifestyle is also on a downward spiral. I cannot seem to stick to anything. Like I have commitment issues. 

I need a sort of blank slate. I’ve been having anxiety symptoms so I went to see a psychologist turns out I’m having the early stages of anxiety. Joy -_-. It’s something that’s hereditary. She said that I should start to write in a journal which will help me to get out what I need to and it’s also something I can control because I also feel like I’m not in control. It’s another reason I haven’t been posting because anything that could have gone on my blog is in my aqua blue journal that I luuurve with all my being. 

Mid-Day Musings

It is a peaceful Sunday in the Caribbean. The sun is out, the temperature at 82 degrees F. The birds are chirping and I’m sure somewhere there’s a baby laughing. Right now. Inside  my head isn’t calm. My face probably looks like I’ve been meditating all day, the picture perfect example of calm serenity.

I have so much on my mind. I have to read 5 chapters in Things Fall Apart by tomorrow and fill out a worksheet. Figure out where I’m going to get the materials for the speaker I’m making before IT class tomorrow. I’ve got food on the brain and am trying not to binge eat. I need to figure out how to get more votes on http://www.exploremodeling.com/Casting/elfCosmetics2013/78881/Samora_L.aspx

With so much else on my mind that I can’t put them all  into complete sentences. I feel as if everything in my mind has blown out of the neat filing cabinets they should be in. Sometimes I think I might have something a littler milder than ADHD. I procrastinate but not on purpose. There are times my mom will take away my facebook so I can go to sleep earlier because she thinks that’s what’s keeping me from doing my homework earlier.

Guess what?

It’s not. I’m lucky if I get to bed before 10PM. I find things to do instead of working because I just can’t help myself. Since I can’t seem to stick to my school work and finish it all at once, I have a Tumblr, Twitter, Pintrest and other miscellaneous things I can’t remember the names of.

I’m going to stop typing because this post isn’t going anywhere. If I continued to write, you would continue to read more about my procrastinating adventures.