What Do You Think About Before Going To Sleep At Night?

I was scrolling down my tumblr dashboard when I came across this question. And it made me really think about what goes through my mind before I fall asleep.

Firstly, you guys should know I don’t fall asleep easily and before I started seeing a therapist I had regular nightmares. Before I went to bed each night it became a habit for me to think about what I want to dream about, I also do that when I wake up from a nightmare.

I realized that before I go to sleep at night I think about things that are my ‘fairytale’ probably will only happen if I have a fairy godmother hanging around somewhere. I think about being happy before going to sleep. Happiness is a feeling I don’t think people give enough credit to because if someone is happy then they’re set for life. I truly believe happiness is key to everyone’s problems.

My happiness would include my brother doing well in school. My dad’s business finally working for him instead of sucking away his happiness. My bio dad calling me more. My mom finding someone to spend the rest of her life with, where she wouldn’t have to struggle and stress financially me. And me, my happiness would also be if I could just love myself.

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I love finding things to do.

So you know I didn’t come up with this. I got this off of another tumblr and I do not take credit for it

Bold what’s true about you.

 

I am under 18.
I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person. (more like late morning)
I am an only child.
I am currently in my “pajamas”.
I am currently pregnant.
I am left handed.
l am right handed.
I am ambidextrous.(just with writing though I’m workin on it lol)
I am a little shy around the opposite sex.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I enjoy folk music.
I enjoy smoothies.
I enjoy talking on the phone. 
I have a car.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school.
I have a hidden talent.
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl.
I have all my grandparents.
I have been to another country.
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.
I have or had broken a bone.
I have caller I.D. on my phone.
I have bathed someone. 
I have changed a diaper.
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person.
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I have rejected someone before.
I like the taste of blood. (sometimes, it’s weird I know)
I love Michael Jackson.
I love sleeping.
I love to shop.
I own 100 CDs or more.
I own and use a library card. 
I read books for pleasure in my spare time. 
I sleep a lot during the day.
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I am wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
I consume at least one alcoholic drink every month.

 

I have/had:
Finished college.
Smoked cigarettes.
Ridden every ride at an amusement park.
Collected something really stupid.
Gone to a concert.
Helped someone.
Spun turn tables.
Watched four movies in one night.
Been broken up with.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself. (specification: not on purpose)
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day. (I needed new clothes)
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.
Skipped school. – stayed home because I really didn’t want to go
Gotten in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Been in a mental hospital.
Fired a gun.
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year. (more than 60 ^_^)
Gone to Europe.

Loved someone you couldn’t have.

Used a coloring book over age 12.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Had more than 5 online conversations going at once.
Had a hamster.
Dyed your hair.
Had something pierced.
Gotten straight A’s.
Been handcuffed.

 

My hair is naturally the colour:

Mousy Brown
Light brown
Medium brown
Dark brown – golden in the sun
Blonde
Black
Dirty blond
Strawberry blond
Multicoloured
Red

 

My eyes are:
Brown
Dark Brown
Blue
Green
Hazel
Lol they change all the time
Blue/green
Gray

 

People sometimes label me as:
Slut
Boyish
Colorful
Ugly
Nerd
Sweet
Stuck up – because I don’t care what they think of me.
Other

 

Some of my biggest fears are:
Spiders/other insects
Slimy things (Jellyfish!!!)
Dying
Doctor/Dentist appointments
Hospitals
Needles
Disease
Being alone in the dark
Heights
Small spaces
Oceans/large bodies of water
Large animals
Small animals 
Open spaces
Lightning
Failure
Thunder
Tornadoes
Clustered holes
Bodily fluids
Corpses

 

I have:
A friend with benefits
A laptop in my room
A television in my room
Good grades
My own car
Parents who are still married
A dog
A cat
A game console

 

Mid-Day Musings

It is a peaceful Sunday in the Caribbean. The sun is out, the temperature at 82 degrees F. The birds are chirping and I’m sure somewhere there’s a baby laughing. Right now. Inside  my head isn’t calm. My face probably looks like I’ve been meditating all day, the picture perfect example of calm serenity.

I have so much on my mind. I have to read 5 chapters in Things Fall Apart by tomorrow and fill out a worksheet. Figure out where I’m going to get the materials for the speaker I’m making before IT class tomorrow. I’ve got food on the brain and am trying not to binge eat. I need to figure out how to get more votes on http://www.exploremodeling.com/Casting/elfCosmetics2013/78881/Samora_L.aspx

With so much else on my mind that I can’t put them all  into complete sentences. I feel as if everything in my mind has blown out of the neat filing cabinets they should be in. Sometimes I think I might have something a littler milder than ADHD. I procrastinate but not on purpose. There are times my mom will take away my facebook so I can go to sleep earlier because she thinks that’s what’s keeping me from doing my homework earlier.

Guess what?

It’s not. I’m lucky if I get to bed before 10PM. I find things to do instead of working because I just can’t help myself. Since I can’t seem to stick to my school work and finish it all at once, I have a Tumblr, Twitter, Pintrest and other miscellaneous things I can’t remember the names of.

I’m going to stop typing because this post isn’t going anywhere. If I continued to write, you would continue to read more about my procrastinating adventures.